COMMON CENTS
At every TPA dart league banquet I hear the same complaining. “These payouts are terrible, what do they do with all of our money?” On the surface it appears quite unfair. Opening award envelopes releases more empty air then the balloon shoot at the Carnival. My team, for example, was awarded $120 for winning the Monday ‘A' league championship. Unfortunately, we paid $180 in league fees for this honor. For those of you keeping score, that is 67% payback for winning the most prestigious league in the Twin Ports area. We certainly do not play league darts for the purpose of making money. It is a hobby – and hobbies are expected to cost. Still, nobody wants to be bent over the chair like Kobe Bryant's midnight courtesan. With the highest potential winnings equaling only two out of the three dollars paid in weekly league fees, the complaints are understood. What happens with the $40 per team sponsorship fees the bars pay . . . or do they pay it at all? If Superior Darts were to form a league, and the champions were returned only two-thirds of what they dished out in league fees – a lynch mob would form at my door demanding a league audit. I would be branded a thief and removed from my responsibilities. Yet, TPA has snuck by without question as league payouts slowly diminish year by year. Even after eliminating pins, open boards at the banquet, and individual plaques the trend has continued.
Don't get me wrong – I do not think TPA is pocketing league money. The Kervina's are ambitious entrapanuers betting everything they have on the success of a difficult business. On top of her administrative responsibilities Mary Ellen has decided to dabble in politics. She has the unique life experiences and youthful fresh perspective that I hope will drive the future of America. Don't bother with local office Mary Ellen; go directly to the U.S. House of Representatives! Despite my complaints, I know that Steve Matthews is an honest and fair league coordinator doing the best he can to improve bar leagues of every kind in the Northland. Most of all, I believe in the free market system. The purpose of a business is to provide a service it can profit from. Profit can increase employee salaries, and outside expenditures with other businesses. Those businesses may then profit, raise wages, spend money etc. etc. Twin Ports Amusements not only deserves to make a profit, but also must do so to continue providing the service dart players like me – who spend an unusually large amount of time in taverns – truly enjoy.
Taking a short stroll down TPA's dart league expense column will explain the evaporation of much league money. At my best estimation, in one 14-week season TPA will go through 10,000 letter-sized sheets of paper, 2,100 tri-copy score sheets, 1,050 Stamps & envelopes, 30 team plaques, NDA Player fees, Printer ink, copy toner, software updates, and one Blue Flame Ballroom with catered food. It would be nice if none of these costs were paid with league fees. It would also be nice if Airline ‘miles' were actually worth a mile. But instead, TPA league fees will pay for office expenses and 10,000 airline miles are gone by the time you taxi to the runway. There is little we can do about either one. Or is there?
While flipping through TPA weekly stats – which have been printed, copied, stapled, folded, sealed in a hand addressed envelope with postage, and driven across the bridge to my house via the United States Postal Service – I consider the possibility there may be a more efficient way to distribute weekly league statistics.
I wonder why, in this millennium, would anybody hand write so many addresses? Type each name and address once into Microsoft Word, and print out 14 envelopes of each. There is one hour per week in labor saved.
Since we are on the subject, Paul Revering out weekly stats is archaic anyhow. Use the TPA website to your advantage. Every player has access to online league information, not just the team captain. Even better, they can see them two days sooner on the web. Why not print our own copies while viewing them online? Let each team be responsible for bringing their own stat sheet. If there actually is a couple teams remaining that have no online access, mail stats to those teams only. This one simple change could virtually eliminate the expenses of paper, envelopes, stamps, ink & toner. This also saves hours of repetitive printing, folding and stuffing envelopes. Efficiency is best achieved by strategically delegating work. Dart players are hungry for stats – and will be more then willing to use their own printers for weekly league sheets. If I were league coordinator I would gladly let the players have that job! Now the only administrative necessities are data entry and uploading the website, maybe an hour per day of office time.
Those changes alone may not be enough to significantly raise team award monies. My understanding is that the league banquet is the largest draw from the player fees. C.W. Chips Blue Flame Ballroom is a beautiful facility, but much larger then necessary to accommodate the sparse attendance at dart banquets. In recent years TPA gives little notification to dart players – only one flyer sent with league stats the last week or two. Often, nobody but the team captain sees this flyer. The banquet date should be planned at the beginning of the season, rather then the end. It could be on the schedule itself, so every player has proper notification. Even better, notify Superior Darts a month prior to the banquet and use the free advertisement I offer.
If only 40 of the 300 players in my leagues showed up to the banquet, I would wonder why. Instead of showing concern, TPA seems to be doing what they can to make attendance even smaller. One year the banquet was scheduled on the Minnesota fishing opener. The most recent banquet was held at 5pm on a Friday afternoon. Are they just trying to save money on the catering bill? What purpose did having the banquet so early satisfy – because it certainly was not convenient for the 300 players funding this banquet? If this is the best they can do, I believe it is time for a major change. Scrap the banquet all together.
Instead of paying for a banquet room, I am sure several TPA bars would love to hold a season ending tournament for free . . . and even add money. The awards ceremony could precede the tournament encouraging attendance. Also, persuade more players to stay by having a separate A, B, and C level tournament. (Use ‘luck of the draw' format in each level.). Have players simply tired of dart banquets? Think about it. The only reason players show up at the banquet is to pick up their awards envelope, and the biggest draw from the awards envelope is the banquet. This is like driving 50 miles out of your way to buy cheaper gasoline. Wise up, people . . . and demand a change!
To end in a positive note - I would like to give thanks to a man who did as much as any to help out darts in the Twin Ports over the past few years. Not just a business manager at our favorite establishment, but a dart player and friend to us all. Chris ‘Big Chris' Lessig took large part in making End Zone the dart hub of the Northland. He arranged many events – topping any establishment in the Twin Ports during his tenure. Even while remaining unable to attend most of these events himself, due to his weekend responsibilities to the business. Good luck to you, Chris. I hope you are the best player in Wisconsin Rapids! We all look forward to your next visit to Superior.
Darrin Barker
September 21, 2004 |